priorities

+ & -

by Lara on March 3, 2010

in + & -,fashion

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- clara is always first to change the subject to politics, but gets 90% of her information from gawker and the daily show

- muffin arrogantly insists that she doesn’t “own a tv,” but still watches mad men and arrested development on her macbook pro

- trigger says the words “bike culture” out loud at least once a day

- lucky thinks this unagi is too salty, and he knows because he lived in japan for a month

  • Retail therapy and spoiling myself a bit. I am an extremely generous person but there comes a time when you have to say to hell with a bit more debt and get yourself something you really really want. Having a birthday coming up is the perfect justification – because I’m beginning to feel as though if I don’t spoil myself, no one else will. I can’t wait for these to arrive! They’ve sold out twice already so I put myself on the waiting list and as soon as I received the email, they were mine! I have no idea when, where or what with I’m going to wear them. Yes, I know they’re ridiculous but sometimes ridiculous things just speak to your heart – like my two pet rats, red eyeshadow, that time I let my friends dread my hair, and rhumba panties. No regrets. They can sit next to me on the sofa while I watch Hoarders for all I care.

  • I’m finally meeting some of my favorite Richmond Twitter ladies for coffee on Wednesday night! I’m really excited! Between this and my lady friend dinner last week I’m giddy about getting out and about with cool chicks. This winter has driven me mad!

  • How does one forget they have a brand new red wool pea coat in a storage closet for oh… say, 8 years!? No idea. It’s from the Victoria’s Secret catalog and I bought it new with tags off of eBay for like $20 one summer, put it away in a garment bag and just recently found it, thinking something else was in the bag. I’m a genius.

  • My painting project is coming along nicely. Slowly but nicely. I will post finished pics soon!
  • Moggit picks out the most nonsensical and utterly stupid examples of modern design. Hilarious.

via indexed

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  • I’m in no way a PETA nut. I love meat – try to buy humanely raised meat/dairy every chance I get, but I seriously will not give it up. I am one pork chop away from being an anemic mess. Anyhow… I hate the circus, I hate zoos, I hate Seaworld, etc. I am sorry that trainer was killed but we needed a wake-up call. No animal should be used for entertainment (under the guise of education) unless it’s already a domesticated breed (petting zoos and pets in general), is receiving medical attention/rehab to be released back into the wild eventually, or there is no way it could survive in the wild on its own for whatever horrible reason.  If it’s possible for people to take a little peek at these animals then fine. Large fish aquariums don’t bother me that much but for christ’s sake! Mammals! Killer whales are intelligent mammals who live in families, travel hundreds of miles a day, have sophisticated modes of communication – all reduced to some deluded  egomaniacal asshat standing on its nose to pop music so someone can make a buck. Give me an effin break! I’ll get my animal education from documentaries thank you very much.
  • Let’s get back to the retail therapy thing. I used to be a compulsive clothes/shoe shopper. I wouldn’t make major purchases but stuff starts to add up and after I got rid of over 50 pairs of shoes and purged my closet in preparation for a move, I thought I had seen the light when I saw all that money I had spent get donated to Goodwill. I have been sooo good for almost a year. Well… I really just redirected my spending on my bf’s and my first apartment together. That was healthy and fun spending for legitimate things we needed but it still satisfied something inside me that needed to be excited about something. Lately, I’ve been stressed/disappointed like whoa and well, I’ve caught myself getting sucked into the clothing/shoes spiral again. Today, I went out for an hour to blow off some steam (shop) and had about 20 things in my arms to try on. Had all of it fit, I seriously was going to buy every damn thing and eat ramen until the end of next week. Thankfully nothing fit right (damn tits) so, I stepped back and reassessed my stress and bad habits. This is something I’m going to have to keep in check for the rest of my life.

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out with the old

by Lara on April 6, 2009

in fashion

I will be moving in about 2 months and will be sharing closets that I am sure will be much smaller than what I’m used to. I have been blessed (and cursed) with an absurd amount of closet space for most of my life. A few times a year, usually coinciding with a seasonal closet switch, I cleanse and purge my wardrobe. I truly subscribe to the belief that if you haven’t worn something in four seasons, it needs to go – unless it’s timeless formal attire or a pair of pants that the loss of 5 vanity pounds would render wearable once again.  So, in this slow process of rediscovering my warm weather wear, I will also be reassessing the necessity of everything I own.

I think a lot of my past clothing/shoe purchases have been compulsive and unrealistic: a top that will only go with one skirt, a skirt that I will rarely ever wear, and the shoes that will only go with this one outfit, and the bag that only goes with those shoes… and it all sits in a closet, waiting for that perfect moment where this perfect outfit will be appropriate. Then when that moment comes, I forget about said outfit and always gravitate towards what I’m most comfortable in anyhow. Then, the outfit is no longer current after a while and I have these outdated pieces taking up closet space. A lot of these purchases were made to try out a new style, to fit in with a trend that I never felt truly comfortable in, to live in a fantasy world where I pretend I am the type of woman who likes frilly things. This has to stop.

Last week, I got rid of over 30 pairs of impractical shoes and donated them to Goodwill. I filled my trunk with shoes alone. This is ridiculous. All that money down the drain. Unfortunately eBay would’ve been an enormous waste of time. Prices for shoes have dropped significantly and shipping costs have risen so, If I sold one pair of used shoes at $5 + $6 shipping + the time involved in taking and uploading pictures and filling out the description + packing the shoes up + taking them to post office and waiting in line (if they even sold) + subtracting the eBay and PayPal fees - it all seemed utterly pointless to me. I still feel good in knowing that they are going to a good cause but I am more frustrated with my own bad habits of compulsive purchases of things that don’t stand the test of time or go with the majority of my current wardrobe or were simply on sale. If I could only have all that money back right now…

So, I now vow to make more careful purchases – classic items that reflect my personality but also don’t ride on the edge of short-lived trends – quality over quantity – rooted in the reality of my real life – and resisting the seduction of a sale when I don’t really need something.

I haven’t even begun to tackle my clothing. My god.

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what are we doing?

by Lara on January 7, 2009

in geek

Last night, I was curled up with the boy, perusing the interwebs. I wanted him to see Pinky Show. I’ve been a big fan for years but hadn’t caught up in a while. One of the newest episodes was “We Love Museums… Do Museums Love Us Back?” Check it out. It’s an extreme anti-intellectual viewpoint but it’s always good to see things through different eyes. (This one about the legalities of the Iraq war is my absolute favorite.)

So, this got me thinking about style blogs, especially NotCot.org and the like. This particular site is comprised of contributions by people like you and me (and probably a lot of self promotion) but it’s curated by these fine folks and their employees:

Founders, Jean Aw and Daniel Frysinger, are user experience obsessives (her background being a masters in interaction/ux design and his a BA in HCI/CS and was working for one of the few internet giants).

Sites like this as well and other fashion blogs, home decor blogs, tech blogs, and even this blog are telling readers what to value. These sites are little museums of sorts, showcasing the coveted and especially the NEW – everyone covets the new. What makes any of this important? I guess we all make our own personal decisions as to what we think is important or not but I have a feeling that our decisions are being carefully guided and sometimes I’m left feeling shallow and empty by all of this nonsense…

My google reader has over 600 unread posts and at this moment, I just don’t want to look at any of it. I’m going to go clean out my aquarium in my 7th grade gym shirt. Sometimes you just need to step away for a bit.

 

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perspective

by Lara on November 17, 2008

in fashion

Hello! I haven’t contributed to this wee blog for a short while. After being bedridden for 3 days with strep throat, things begin to pile up around you, errands need to be run, laundry needs to be done and people you have missed need to be kissed. A lot. These are the things that really matter.

I don’t know where I’m ultimately going with this blog entry but I have a few things I want to get on my chest.

First off, I want to clarify my stance on consumerism, fashion, art… and the point of this blog in general. I love a lot of things: the sciences, mathematical theory, history, literature, philosophy, international politics and economics, psychology, arts, crafts, photography, architecture, music and fashion. Fashion does seem to be the main focus here but I think I’m on the right track of having all the other things I love dotted throughout.

I started reading fashion magazines when I was inappropriately young. I never really tried to emulate any of the styles. I just enjoyed the theatrics of the editorials, the perspectives and techniques employed by the photographers, and the attention to detail of the designers and their seamstresses. The first time in my youth that I truly wanted an article of clothing to the point of desperate pleading and hysterical bratty fits (directed towards my mother) was when my still best friend Angie showed up in 3rd grade (1987) with lace-up ankle boots (much like what is in style right now) that fit her tiny feet. Her mother had found them at a thrift store so the chances of myself getting a pair of Madonna-esque “Like a Virgin” heels that fit me were slim to none. My ever-patient mother still took me all over town to try to find a pair anyhow, to no avail. The next big thing was about a decade later with those stupid stupid Doc Martens. I bought them 2 hours away at a Nordstrom in DC and slept in them that night. I did get into goth and punk and whatnot but for the most part, I dressed in the style of the boys. So you see, I never really cared that much about appearances and when I did try, things felt very awkward.

It wasn’t until I was around 20 that I realized something was off with my style. I had spent a year in a very random marriage (I’ll save that story for another time) and this odd year landed me at a crossroads where I was in a state of limbo. It was the end of dressing like a boy and the beginning of becoming an adult and I had no idea what to do. My friend and coworker at the time taught me the virtues of a good pair of bootcut jeans, interesting tops and strappy heels. My life was forever changed and fashion was no longer a spectator sport. I was finally in the game. A decade later, I now truly feel like I’m comfortable with my style decisions. I know what my limits are, I no longer feel the need to experiment (there were some doozies) and I can still appreciate what is beautiful in a magazine and never expect to emulate it. (Oh, and I’m still most comfortable dressing like one of the boys – jeans, hoodies and skate shoes.)

This brings me to this blog. I don’t ever want anyone to feel like this is the stuff that really matters in life, or that I think it is. Fashion is so far from being truly important it’s almost embarassing that I enjoy it so much. Fashion is a guilty pleasure. It’s an appreciation of things that one can adorn themselves with. It’s vain. It’s shallow. It’s a ton of fun but, a pretty dress doesn’t make you a pretty person. Good fashion sense and being a savy shopper isn’t going to win you the life you’ve always dreamed of. (Being uber trendy in a sea of people who just want to be clean and comfortable can actually make you less approachable.) When I finally began to love who I was on the inside was when I finally felt confident in/with clothing. This is no cooincidence. So, please don’t take this blog seriously. Seriously. This is just a collection of things I think are pretty, innovative, fun, or just plain sick.

The endless parade of expensive shoes/clothes purchases I see on a lot of the fashion blogs can easily make a reader feel inadequate because this is no longer the land of fantasy magazine spreads of designer clothes and celebrity photo shoots. In those days, you knew there was no way in hell anyone “normal” could afford that stuff. It was pure escapism. Now, the blogosphere consists of real people that you can really relate to, who may or may not be more financially secure than they let on, or may be getting themselves into some serious financial trouble to keep up with a certain image.

At the end of the day, my heels and adorable dress aren’t going to make me laugh and smile and feel truly wanted in this world. Being a kind and generous person who is there for those in need is what really matters. It’s still okay to appreciate the pretty once in a while.

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gifting

by Lara on November 12, 2008

in geek

I have had moments of being overly generous in the past. My first year at my new highschool, I was so excited about all my new and wonderfrul friends that I went broke getting the perfect gifts for an excessive amount of people. The joy I got from making so many people feel appreciated was worth it but looking back, it was a bit much and a bit foolish. Last year, quite a few things were put on the credit card and I have not been happy about paying it off this year.

Christmas is going to be here in the blink of an eye and I don’t think there’s anything kind and generous about having an empty checking account on December 25. You have to be kind and generous to yourself too. I don’t think I know a single person who has the recommended 6 months of income tucked away for an emergency, which is especially important in this uncertain time. Maybe we should be good to one another and take some of the pressure and expectations away.

Maybe this year would be a good idea to start a name drawing where friends/family pick a name out of a hat and are only responsible for one person. You could also set a price limit.

If you truly value the time spent with dear friends and family, why not plan a party instead of gifts. A byob potluck is a great way to feel festive with friends, play some cheesy holiday music, eat one of those cheese balls rolled in nuts, take a ton of pictures and have fun without a major financial burden placed on anyone.

There’s something to be said for eliminating junk from your life. Do you really need to add more junk to the lives of those you care about? How about a gift that will get used up and will not become a dust catcher a year later. A box of chocolates, a candle, bath products, a gift certificate to a favorite restaraunt or coffee shop, a gift certificate for a simple manicure, a bottle of wine or decadent flavored liquor… all will be indulged in and eventually will be gone but the memory of the experience will always be appreciated.

Practical gifts with serious personality are always appreciated. I for one, would love a snazzy new umbrella. Maybe grandma would like a modern pair of patterned rainboots to make her feel cheerful and hip.

Okay, this is going to sound a little crappy but it’s the truth. Have you repeatedly given gifts to a certain someone over the years and have never received anything from them in return? I know the holidays are about giving but, maybe this year would be a good time to draw a line in the sand and exempt yourself from spending on that special person this time around.

Here’s a previous post I did about cheap independent design. Lots of ideas!

Some people like to give a lot of little gifts to someone as opposed to one large one. Those little things add up quickly. Maybe one nice chef’s knife would be more affordable than a basket of silly kitchen gadgets, and definitely more appreciated in the long run.

Is your father dying for a plasma TV? Everyone in the family (and his friends) could chip in for this huge purchase. No donation is too small and everyone gets to sign a big card. I did this for a friend’s birthday a few years ago. She wanted an iPod and of course you need to get the accessories like a car adapter and charger and extended warranty, etc. Some people donated $5 and some gave $50 but everyone played an equally important role in helping their friend have an awesome birthday. It involved a bit of legwork and pestering emails on my part but a dream gift for someone can bring a room to tears. (I think she liked the card best of all.)

Your friends/family could also choose to adopt a disadvantaged child, family, or animal shelter from a charitable organization and place the focus of giving on someone who truly needs help.

Getting crafty and making something by hand can sometimes cost more than just grabbing something at the store so, if you get the great idea to sew and embroider everyone a personalized pillow, think about all the supplies you will need, the true cost of everything, and the time involved. I have never once started a project with wonderful intentions and have it turn out the way I had envisioned in my mind, without some unexpected disaster. Be realistic.

Photo cards are a fun idea – dressing up the dog in a santa hat makes everyone smile, as well as a personal hand written letter letting those you love know how much they mean to you. You can also get your family/friends together for an ugly holiday sweater group photo. As bad as it sounds, it’s even better if you go to a place like Wal-Mart with uber cheesy backgrounds at minimal costs. Just take the 8×10 to one of those photo machines at the drugstore and get a bunch of smaller sizes made up for everyone, or print them at home if you have the right printer.

No matter how you attempt to make the holidays a bit more reasonable and sane for yourself and those you love, it truly truly truly is the thought that counts. Wouldn’t it be nice to finally have a holiday season that was more about quality time and laughter than lines and traffic and anxiety and debt?

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restraint

by Lara on October 7, 2008

in fashion

With our economy hanging on by a thread of desperate measures and the most important election in our history only a month away, it seems almost frivolous to be wasting time writing about fashion and design. I supose writing about it is better than going broke buying it all up, right?

For myself and many others, retail therapy has always been a way to decompress, get out of the house, browse, get inspired by new things and usually come home with a treat. Now, through technology, we don’t even have to leave our homes to get a shopping fix! For me, this past year has been full of changes and revelations in regards to the person I want to be for the rest of my life, as I’m about to leave my 20s. This includes restraint in shopping. One of my first blog entries was about cleaning out my closets and admitting to myself that I simply need to stop buying things that just weren’t ME. I find all kinds of things attractive and cute but that doesn’t mean I will ever feel comfortable with those things on my body. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I accept who I am. I can’t embrace every little shiny new thing that comes out. I can appreciate these things but I now feel empowered to say NO to a lot of things out there, even if they’re on sale!

For the most part, I avoid purchasing loud items. An amazing decadent party dress is one thing but daily wear should be able to blend seamlessly with the rest of your wardrobe, in my opinion. Some things are so undeniably trendy though, no matter how well it blends into your existing wardrobe, it’s going to eventually become one of those over saturated items of clothing where everyone will be sick of it after one season. (Square scarves anyone?) I now somewhat regret purchasing the AA leather-look leggings. They’re EVERYWHERE! They’re no longer subversive… they’re a wardrobe staple in all the magazines and street style sites. I waited too long to get them and thankfully, I didn’t spend a fortune on them but; I would rather save up and buy a quality pair of rock-star-leather pants that will last me a lifetime one of these days.

How about the completely impractical 5″ heel platforms that normally would be relegated to red carpet events and exotic dancers? They’re in all the editorials, touted as daily wear shoes now! Gorgeous? Yes! The type of shoe to make you stop dead in your tracks and vow to wear them with everything to justify the cost? Yes! When will these shoes ever really be worn? Do we not already have plenty of special occassion shoes in our closets? How often do we wear our purchases and does our wear justify the price? Hey, I’m just trying to get honest here.

Patterns are especially tricky since they are so susceptible to trends. There are indeed classic prints but, for example, Ikat was huge this summer and it’s now fading out (to be replaced with absurd florals in the winter). What are you going to do with all that Ikat hanging around in your closet? Was it worth the money to wear it a few times before it didn’t feel current any longer? What are you going to do with all that blue and white floral that’s going to be big next spring when everyone says, “Oh there she goes looking like a piece of Chinese porcelain again”?

I’m not saying that I think there’s anything wrong with staying current and picking up a trendy piece for a bit of fun in your wardrobe. I’m simply posing the issue of cost justification that only you as an individual can figure out. I think a lot of us have gotten a wee bit carried away with our credit cards and that $100 shirt will end up costing us $500 after making minimum payments for a few years. As much fun as it’s been trying to pretend… we are not Carrie Bradshaw!

There has to be a give and take in life. One can’t just take take take and expect to feel balanced. Shopping to fill a void is also a futile endeavor. A major achievement of mine this year was quitting smoking which has resulted in me pretty much not drinking socially anymore. I’ve lost all desire and I’m saving a TON of money! So, I don’t feel so bad spending the same amount on a pair of boots that I would’ve spent on drinks with friends that week. (I also had no business spending money on both drinks and boots before I made some changes but, I did anyways and I’m now trying to rectify my bad spending habits.)

It’s time to grow up a little bit, to start putting some money away for a rainy day. Things are very unstable right now and not to sound like Chicken Little, but we all do need to be more aware about our wasteful spending and take a little bit of pride in saying no to a bunch of things we never really needed in the first place (instead of pouting and feeling denied) and put that money in a safe place, for our future, for our children, for more meaningful goals than a new pair of shoes.

(I still plan on blogging about beautiful things and we all still need to treat ourselves on occassion! It’s good for our souls!)

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