mom

+ & –

by Lara on October 5, 2010

in + & -

  • HEY! If you’re not reading this comic and crying in hysterical fits of laughter, I don’t know if we can be friends. Sneaky Hate Spiral is one of my favorites.

  • In addition to my October shopping ban on clothing, I’m also going to cut out junk like magazines and body/beauty products (unless I straight up run out of something I use daily and I don’t have an adequate replacement on hand. I won’t be walking around with furry legs, that’s for sure.) Christmas is fast approaching and I also need to chip away at my debt a bit more aggressively.
  • In case you were wondering where your tax dollars go, here’s a breakdown if your income was about $34K in 2009 (via)

  • Naked Without Lipstick did a great post on what life was like before she met the internet. Who remembers paging their teenage boyfriends with 143? Ahahah!
  • This past Sunday was my mom’s 64th b-day. I came over for a few hours, brought a cake, gave her a gold and citrine ring and a manicure to go with it, and ran out and picked up Mexican food. It was a fun little visit. Oh, and to update, she’s healing up quite nicely and stubbornly refusing the special air mattress hospital bed.

  • My pet rat Barnaby has a pea-sized tumor under his chin. I have called around and the cheapest tumor removal is $125 + $100 in lab fees to find out what it is. I’m sorry but I paid $5 for him and unlike a dog or cat, I don’t have a deep emotional relationship with him. I’ve already spent over $1,000 on my cat’s kidney disease. Rats are prone to getting tumors so, if he starts showing symptoms and seems ill or it gets bigger, it’s going to be $56 to have him humanely put to sleep.

He was just about a month old here.

  • In two weeks, I have to go to New Jersey for the weekend with the bf’s entire family in a rental van for his sister’s wedding. I don’t really need to go into any more details, now do I? Well I’m going to. I hate being held hostage by the transportation of someone else. My family has never been a big family family and I’m an only child so family isn’t really my thing. There will be much yelling by a little Korean woman. There will be drama, no doubt about it. I am in no mood. I never get to travel anywhere these days and when I do, it’s hardly for anything I want to do. Okay, I have bitched enough. Or have I? I better quit while I’m ahead.
  • City Kitty is gone. Remember that scrawny neighborhood cat I was feeding? Well, she fattened up a bit and then, all of a sudden, she was gone. We kept vigil for her with a full food bowl on the front porch for 3 weeks. Nothing. I finally brought the bowl up this weekend. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, the bf and I will quietly say, “I miss City Kitty.” I hope she’s okay.

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mod

by Lara on August 27, 2010

in photo friday

My mom started working at a bank in downtown Richmond, VA when she was 17 in the early 60s. Check out the pale lips and dark eyes. Love it! She’s on the right in the top pic.

Hope you enjoy one our last weekends of summer!

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1950

by Lara on August 13, 2010

in photo friday

Sorry for the repeat post… my blog died and I had to get it restored to the last backup point. This post got lost so I’m doing it over again! (Some glitch with a code I installed.)

Here’s my grandmother and mom in 1950, hanging out while my grandfather worked on their new home in Mechanicsville, VA.

Have a wonderful weekend!

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monkey

by Lara on July 23, 2010

in photo friday

This is my mom at the Virginia State Fair, some time in the mid 1950s WITH A MONKEY!

Have a great weekend! It’s going to be hot!

 

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a glimpse

by Lara on July 14, 2010

in geek

A long time ago, a friend was working on her nursing school thesis about caregivers and asked me to tell her all about my experience in taking care of my mom. I wish I had saved it because I would just copy and paste it here and not be faced with the overwhelming task of trying to explain things here as well as I did then. Oh well. You’ll get an abbreviated version.

I don’t talk about my personal personal life very much on here. It’s not that I mind talking about it. It’s just not what most people want to hear about. For some reason I feel compelled to share right now.

My day job is taking care of my mom, taking care of the house my parents live in (and I grew up in), running errands, cooking, keeping things in order, and I also help run my father’s construction company. I’ve pretty much picked up where my mom left off as her condition worsened. It was a gradual process getting used to more and more responsibility.

My end of my dad’s business involves paying bills, doing bookkeeping, taking care of all the tax related stuff, phone calls, arranging meetings, keeping up with licenses, insurance bullshit (audits, etc), typing contracts and bills, shuffling papers, and generally juggling the finances in a feast or famine line of work.

In taking care of my mom, just imagine if you couldn’t move any part of your body except your head. Imagine all the care you would need. That’s what I do. My mom has M.S. but she can still talk, eat, and has a wonderfully sick sense of humor in spite of everything. She’s the kindest person I know. She is part of a house calls program with MCV so I have instant access to doctors and nurses whenever I notice an issue that’s beyond what I can address but for the most part, I’m responsible for her care. Yes, we’ve had nurses and home aids come in. They suck. My mom would be riddled with bed sores and infections if I left her at their mercy. A decade in bed and not a single bed sore. I started taking care of her foley catheters myself and no more UTIs. I have fought Medicare in Federal court and won. I have cussed doctors and nurses to hell and back. I am my mom’s biggest advocate and pit bull protection. We’ve dealt with kidney stones, cancer, a blocked femoral artery and all the aftercare, in addition to the depression that comes with her situation. It’s been a wild ride.

I also take care of the house… cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping etc… and turn around and do it all at my own place as well.

It took forever going part-time but I have my degree in psychology. It’s worthless but it’s a degree nonetheless and one of these days I will probably go to grad school. Maybe not. Who knows.

My parents busted their ass to create the business. I learned how to walk in the frame of a house. I never had a babysitter. I was putting together ceiling fans and spackling walls when I was 6. I may get my contractors license one of these days and continue with the company. Who knows with that as well. As far as future security, retirement, etc… I’m an only child and I will inherit everything. Almost every day my father tells me it’s all for me. It’s a strange feeling but I don’t have much to worry about. (Not in a nouveau riche kind of way, but more of a I’ll be okay until I get things in order kinda way.) We’re a tight-knit, old school Eastern European mentality kinda family.

A lot of people tell me they couldn’t do what I do. Okay fine. You try and sleep at night when you’re faced with the same decisions. I was once bitter. I left home at 18 and got married on a whim to a loser for 11 months before I wised up. It was an act of defiance and self-assertion. I’ve experimented with drugs, I’ve drank way too much and was extremely lucky I made it home alive. I’ve seen a therapist, I’ve read books. I’ve dealt with codependence and all the other fun things that come up. I have a grip now. I have my own life, my own love. This is just how it is for me and I figured I’d share.

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+ & -

by Lara on March 9, 2010

in + & -

+

  • Camelias are blooming and there are buds on some trees in Richmond!

  • Warmer weather makes me want to eat like this every day.

  • Like spirograph designs, I am really digging this string work for a wall. It would take a bit of time to map out a perfect circle and place all the nails neatly but it is so flippin neat and you could do any type of design in any color.

via

  • I love wall decals and I love rodents. These are adorable!

via – buy them here

get these here! I just got 2!

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  • Alzheimer’s. It sucks beyond anything I thought that sucked could suck. My mom is experiencing the beginning stages of it now. The double-edged sword of her already struggling with MS, is that it’s better that she’s immobile because she would probably wander off or set the house on fire. Right now, she gets fixated on things. For the past six months it’s been her checking account, which I manage. She can’t remember her balance, I have to tell her every day, she doesn’t believe me, we have to call the bank, she thinks there are mystery checks from unknown sources tucked away in drawers that I have to dig through every day to keep her from having a fit… all while trying very hard not to have a fit myself. Before the money stuff, there were mysterious things in the bed with her under the covers that I had to constantly show her weren’t there. There was the broken mirror she said she had cut herself with, the strange plastic bits, the wire wrapped around her finger, her thinking she had pulled her catheter out – all this and she knows intellectually that she can’t move but reality separates itself from her brain every day. This went on for 2 years until we figured out what was really going on. Like I said, it sucks.
  • Spring is coming! Can you feel it!? I have a few fashion requests for the general public. Can we all try to avoid wearing scarves when it’s hot outside and can everyone stay away from boat shoes? Oh, and dirty looking dudes in sleazy tank tops… stop the madness. Thanks guys.

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Things I didn’t get but finally did!

by Lara on February 24, 2010

in beauty,decor,fashion

After Christmas, I did a selfish little post “Things I didn’t get but need to“. Well… I’ve managed to chip away at that list!

- For my birthday on March 23, my mom is getting me this sweet white laptop bag by Acme Made. I’ve had my eye on it for a while and it’s on super sale!

- Heading back from our ski trip we hit IKEA and I got the red PS cabinet for our kitchen! That thing was such a bitch to put together and I managed to bend part of it in a fit of Hulk-strength rage, but the bf fixed that right up and it’s stocked with all my serving dishes, mixing bowls and dumb shit women find necessary to have in a kitchen! Yay! So now, I can quit talking about it!

- On the Target clearance rack, I found a blue cable knit hoodie… not the cardigan I wanted but that’ll do pig!

- For my b-day, I’m also getting a toaster and that weird curling iron you just pull through your hair a certain way! I am stupid excited about having a toaster! Pathetic.

- I got a haircut! Really, it was just a trim but she cleaned up my layers and blended my blunt bangs that have been growing out. Hell yes.

- I found a big fish bowl that was collecting dust at my folks’ house and finally transplanted my enormous Schefflera plant. It’s still dropping leaves like crazy but I think it’s just the heat being on in the winter.

- Not the Tiffany necklace or the one I had that looked just like it but, I finally found another chunky chain necklace. It’s a bit shorter and it’s light as a feather (cheap shiny coated plastic) but it’s the look I’ve been wanting and at $6.80, I won’t feel so bad when I lose it… and that’ll do pig as well.

- The last thing on my list to get is a chest of drawers. I saw that top one with the glass fronts in person and it was made like crap. The bottom one is solid wood and at the same price… it will be mine next trip to NOVA. The flat front has got my head spinning thinking of ways to try some SylvanSF-esque type treatment with decals like I wrote about earlier.

Not a bad whack at taking care of business in less than 2 months! I cannot think of another single thing that I want or need in my life right now other than the usual love, food and happiness. Everything else is just cake. That’s a nice feeling.

What’s on your list?

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1960s interiors

by Lara on October 1, 2009

in decor

My mom has a ton of books taking up a wall in her house. I wanted to share with you some pictures from a 1965 interior design book called Decoration USA. I love how a lot of the design elements and furniture styles are still relevant today. At least we have steered away from saturating the entirety of a room with a singular bright color. I spared you those eye-burning pictures.

Click the picture for a larger version.

Yay! Large scale abstract art dominating a room!

one room 2 ways

I wish all the pictures were in color. They sure loved their woven rattan in the 60s. This photo was showcasing the fireplace pit. We still see those dining chairs used today.

good grief

Not a laptop in sight in any of the desk shots – kind of refreshing!

love these chairs!

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+ & -

by Lara on September 28, 2009

in + & -,geek

+

(If the f-word is NSFW, then don’t scroll down until you get home!)

  • I’m not feeling very serious today! This is a good thing!
  • I want to make dumplings soon. These two posts should get anyone through the process easily. Here and here. They are a bit labor intensive but soooo rewarding!
  • Speaking of food, on a fashion-centric blog, I really liked this post from Fashion is Spinach. It’s a swell revelation to have… a nice little reality check.
  • I love this video (and the song)! It’s not the official video but instead, a very creative fan made it!
  • The Keyboard Cat t-shirt made it on Threadless – of course! I can’t decide whether to get it or not… after all my oohs and ahhs, I’m really agonizing over it! damnit! Where would I wear it? I think the answer is EVERYWHERE!

  • My fave screamo (they call themselves metalcore) band ever, Underoath is coming back to the Norva on November 30th. This will be my 5th time seeing them. I’m 30 years old and I’m going to be screaming with a sea of 16 year old kids and I. Can’t. Wait! There is no shame in my game. Here’s a pic from the last time I saw them… and my post about that night! For the first time, I won’t be going by myself. The bf has NO idea what he’s getting himself into. He owes me. I took him to see Atmosphere for his b-day!

  • This Kakuzai notepad is adorable! At $25 and with 1,200 sheets, it would make a great x-mas gift! OMG why am I already thinking about Christmas!?!?! I’ve been stalking this notepad waiting for some update on where to buy it in the US, since the original source was in Japanese and someone finally let everyone know where to get one here! (via)

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  • This is one sad pup. He’s all over the place with his sadness, looking for his lost love!

  • I really want a new phone. My Helio Ocean just isn’t cutting it for my online demands. I need to see how much longer I have with my contract and iPhone here we come! I just wish they had different providers!

Natalie Dee

(Her blog is awesome!)

  • My mom’s b-day is coming up and she’s always wanted a big fuzzy (fake) sheep in the house. (I wonder where I get it from.) Anyhow, I found one and it’s a stool. Only it’s $1,200. Maybe next time mom.

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mom and her pennies

by Lara on August 14, 2009

in fashion

Apparently there has been a real stink over a NY Times article about the presence of JC Penny in Herald Square in NYC. I found the article hilarious. One line especially killed me, “…Liz & Co., an offshoot of- Liz Claiborne, key provider of looks that say ‘I have been in a senior management position at this D.M.V. for 34 years.’” Pure comedy! But seriously, I do understand how the article could offend someone with its brutally honest remarks. The author did manage to redeem herself in the end. No, not everyone is into high fashion (or they can’t afford it) and the store caters to people of a wide range of sizes.

I do feel the author’s pain though. Nothing there quite matched up to what the kids with affluent parents were wearing. Going to private school and having to wear skirts below my knees, JC Penny did actually come in pretty handy for me in the business petites section for pencil skirts I would grow out of in 6 months, when the 80s style in children’s clothes were neon mini bubble skirts. 

My mother felt that pain. My mother, the hip independent urban girl who wore underground labels, had a closet full of work-smart Diane von Furstenberg wrap dresses, and a modern apartment full of Eames had to reduce herself to shopping at JC Penny when she gave it all up for a family and building a fledgeling business with my father. Indulgences in fashion and the luxury of time were out of reach at that period of her life and it still is for the majority of people in this country. We made the best of it though, as we perused Town and Country magazine and dreamed.

Mom playing with Tom

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