I’ve mentioned my shopping bans and a few other things like balance transfers and getting my finances in order before but since a friend just asked for me to share my actual budget strategy, I figured I could make a post out of it since it can help so many of you out there.

We weren’t born with good financial skills. Some of us weren’t taught by our parents how to balance a checkbook or be responsible with our spending. Some of us got our first credit card as a freshman in college and made a mess of things. That’s okay. There’s no time like the present to figure out what’s really going on with your money and know what your limits are so that you don’t get yourself into a pickle.

I’m on a pretty tight budget. I work for my family and get a regular paycheck but it’s not nearly what I would like to be making. My car is paid off, my rent/home bills equal 1 week’s pay (the standard for living within your means), and I have a a couple thousand in credit card debt that I’m whittling away at.

So here is the plan I enacted a few months ago (because I was sick and tired of always having to figure out in my head what I could and couldn’t buy, and I was always broke for a week after rent was paid) and it’s been working great for me!

First off, I transferred the balances of my 3 higher interest credit cards to 1 card that had zero interest for the first 18 months. You’ll have to research this yourself and find one with NO fees and at least a way lower interest than your other cards. (Or just try to negotiate lower rates with the companies over the phone, or transfer to one card you already have with the lowest rate.)

I will not put any new charges on that new card ever. Once it’s paid off, I’m done with it. I don’t even carry it around with me – because balance transfers and new charges get put into different interest pools and they screw you hard.

I also found out which one of my other 3 cards had the lowest rate and that’s the one I carry around for emergencies. Real emergencies. Not shoe emergencies. Like car explodes, cat is sick, bail my mom out of jail emergencies.

THE BUDGET PLAN:

1. Figure out how much you make every year after taxes. This is your base total. If you sometimes get overtime, don’t count that. That’s a bonus cushion in your checking account.
2. Total up your bills (round up) like cable $50 x 12 months = $600, car insurance, cell phone, rent, gas for your car (average what you usually spend and round up), utilities, regular prescriptions, etc. Subtract all this from your base income total. (You should also pay yourself first and consider the money you put into whatever retirement/savings plan you have as a regular bill.)
3. Figure out how much you’re willing to pay every month on your credit cards to get them paid off asap.Multiply this x 12 and subtract from what’s left of your base total.
4. What’s left is your disposable budget – divide it by 52 (weeks in a year) and that’s what you’re allowed to spend every week on whatever the hell you want. Since grocery trips vary all the time I consider food a disposable income kind of thing. If I go over one week, I take it out of next week’s allotted money. If I have a surplus, I put it in my savings account or I roll it over to the next week if a holiday is coming up or I really want something special.

Now, if you find that this simply isn’t enough to live off of every week, think about it. How did you manage to survive before this plan? Nothing’s really changed. You still have the same income and expenses. So were you putting junk purchases on credit all the time? You have to stop it. You have to live within your means. It’s as simple as that. If you HAVE to have more every week, then consider picking a smaller cell phone plan, or eliminating a monthly bill altogether if you can. You could also re-crunch your numbers a pay a bit less every month on your credit bills. This will only drag out paying them off though. What can you live without? Do you eat out too often? Do you need 5 fashion magazines every month? For the cost of 2 you can get a subscription for the entire year. This is the time to think about stretching your allotted weekly disposable money.

HOW TO STAY ACCOUNTABLE:

I deal primarily with a debit card. I will write a check for rent and that’s about it. I don’t rely on what online banking is telling me what my balance is because they’ll put things on hold, aren’t up-to-date, etc. I know what I have in the bank because I did the math myself. That little ledger that comes with checks is where I write down every single debit transaction and do the math. There are free programs you can download to do this on your computer as well. After I buy something, I stuff the receipt in my wallet (immediately write it down for online purchases) and once or twice a week, I sit down and subtract them all from my balance. When my bank statement comes in the mail, I cross reference and put a check mark for each amount on the ledger and the statement. Sometimes I lose receipts so this keeps me straight and I can stay on top of fraudulent charges as well.

Now for keeping track of that allotted disposable income every week:

I keep a little piece of paper (super cute stationary) in my wallet with my allotted weekly money written down at the top. Every time I make a purchase that isn’t a usual monthly expense, I subtract it on my paper, always rounding up. That’s it. I always know how much I can spend every week. I’m never broke come rent time and it keeps me in check on my shopping. Like, “Oh crap, I only have $60 left this week and I want xxxxx but need groceries. Maybe I’ll get the xxxxx next week.”

There is great room for negotiation on your weekly disposable money. If I spend more one week, I subtract it from the next week when I put a new paper in my wallet on payday (yes, payday is where I start my week). If I spend less and have a surplus, I either transfer it to my savings account online or I roll it over to the next week if there’s something I really want, something I have to do (like an oil change), or a holiday is coming up.

Not all of us can spend whenever we want on whatever we want. I wish we all could but oh well. This is what I have to do to keep myself from over-spending. When you are forced to consciously consider every purchase, you’ll start seeing how silly and reckless a lot of your past spending behaviors were. It’s a good little reality check.

You also get used to this really fast. It’s a pain at first but now, it’s second nature and I’m glad to have done it this way.

Hope this helps some of you get a game plan. There’s no better time to get the ball rolling on good financial behaviors than now. Your next payday would be a good time to start!

Good luck!

This post was originally posted at, and all written content in this post is the copyright of My Milk Glass Heart

This post was originally posted at, and all written content in this post is the copyright of My Milk Glass Heart

• Things I want to eat a lot of lately: beets, sauteed mushrooms, goat cheese, pierogies, cheesecake, acorn squash, sweet potatoes

Martin’s has had these Maitake mushrooms regularly and I love them!

baked w/ butter, brown sugar & cinnamon

• Blog hits have gone through the roof since I tested the waters and started adding some pathetic outfit posts. What’s up with that?
• An article from the WSJ called Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior really hit home. My bf and I were both raised like this…. oooooold school.
• This picture:

• The bf got some speaker thing you can put on any surface to make it a real speaker. Friday (we were soooo glad it was Friday) he put it on the front door with some happy ska playing, announcing his arrival. We danced in the living room, jumped on the bed and yelled TIESTO! (his made up word that means the happy bliss we feel together). It was kinda great.
• Just watched Dinner for Schmucks. If you like The Office, you’ll love all the embarrassment transfer and discomfort. The taxidermy mice dioramas really made it for me!

• My bff Jen is getting back to blogging after getting preggos again and moving across the country. I’m soooo jealous that her and our bestie Sarah are going to eat their way through San Francisco! I miss hanging out with these bitches.

Over 8 years ago? We had just gotten drunk  on wine and stole that gargoyle from someone’s front porch. Lookin’ good.

• I finally got my hair cut on Saturday night and I love it! I was starting to not feel like myself anymore. I’ve always had a style and keeping it all one length was so boring. It has taken 2 years to get it long enough to trim it and still feel long. The layers and face framing has given it some attitude. Some decent pictures to come soon.
• Estate sales. I need to start hunting them down and crawling out of bed early on the weekends.
• I want to start trying a few things on I would normally pass over when I go shopping. Just for the hell of it. Why not?

• I wish I would stop witnessing car accidents. I’ve done a deposition and tried to help at the scene with one (crazy drunk driver took out a light poll and 2 cars- a fire hydrant flew past my car), and now I have to go to court over another from New Years Eve a year ago when the bf and I took a stroll around the neighborhood and a guy ran a stop sign.
• Another nail in my tire.
• A few blogger friends have experienced some real tragedies lately. Last year was especially hard on a lot of people and the new year started with a shit show for a few as well. I don’t want to single them out but you know who you are and my thoughts are with you. You know how to get in touch. xoxo

This post was originally posted at, and all written content in this post is the copyright of My Milk Glass Heart

After putting all the Christmas decorations away at my parents’ house, I had to reorganize the walk-in storage closet. I uncovered a box of things my mom had kept from when I was a baby. She gave most of my things away to other mothers but kept the sentimental stuff. There are a ton of teeny cotton dresses she hand-sewed for me, with tiny pin-tucks and smocking. I have no idea when she had the time to make all those things. Here are some of my favorite finds:

Look at this ridiculous hand-embroidered cat bib!

teeny moccasins

This was for my 1st b-day portrait. My mom said the fabric was crazy expensive but she had to get it.

Mom’s best friend was from Australia and when she visited, she’d bring back toys for me. This koala is made from actual kangaroo fur.

There was also the wrist bands from the hospital, notes on when I should start eating certain things from my pediatrician (who I saw until I was 18, he was wonderful), knit blankets, a belt with a pink hippo buckle, and tiny socks knitted by old ladies.

Do you still have your baby things?

This post was originally posted at, and all written content in this post is the copyright of My Milk Glass Heart

I won’t be getting my hair cut until Saturday. Is it going to snow? They can’t make up their minds. Have a wonderful weekend!

me, January 1983

My dad used to raise honeybees. There were about a dozen hives before he gave it up. People used to call him to catch wild hives out of their yards. He would let me suit up and smoke the bees when I was a kid (calms them down when you’re inspecting and removing the frames). (I’ve been stung by everything but a honeybee.) There used to be a bee supply store in Richmond and sometimes he’d have to buy a queen or drone and they came in tiny wooden boxes with screen windows and I would hold them up to my ear. The drones don’t sting so he’d let me hold them and put them in the hive. Every year we would use a centrifugal force extractor that would spin and draw the honey out of the combs, after cutting the caps off with an electric knife, then you’d pour it into bear bottles from a spout at the bottom. Their basement still faintly smells like honey.

This post was originally posted at, and all written content in this post is the copyright of My Milk Glass Heart

I don’t make New Years resolutions but today has me thinking. First off, I want to do more outfit posts here. Nothing predictable like even once a week but, just more. Also an incident on Facebook has me a little riled and thinking about friendships. I don’t get too personal on here but I gotta share this one.

So, before the bf and I met a bit over 2 years ago, I was friends with this girl for a few years before that. We’ll refer to her as Amy. (I don’t know a single Amy.) We both frequented this dive bar in Richmond (I was bffs with the bartender) and had loads of drunk fun together. We were pretty tight, made plans, went to parties together, etc. She was kinda punky and I was kinda over it but we still knew a ton of the same people, told dirty jokes and laughed a lot.  We also had very serious heart to hearts. She started dating a douche. Like the king of douches. She told me all about the hell he was putting her through. I encouraged her to get the hell out. She didn’t. She got pregnant. She had an abortion. I supported her in this decision and then found out later when she got sucked deeper into her relationship and I hadn’t heard from her in a while, that she was upset with me for supporting said abortion. Whatever. No time for this shit. I had met the bf and had more important things on my mind. If you want to date a piece of shit and be mad at me for being supportive and looking out for you, then kiss my ass.

A few months later, she tells my bf’s roommate that I was bulimic. WTF? I have never once in my life even considered puking up my food. I hate puke. So of course my bf finds out and tells me and we have a good laugh and I officially hate this bitch now.

So today, after not speaking for about 2 years, she invites me to her baby shower on Facebook. (Oh, and she married the dude too.) We’re not friends on there so she had to look me up. I just don’t get people. Seriously.

I’m looking back at the past few years of my life and how everyone and everything has changed. My bff bartender is now very sick and having a rough time of it but doesn’t want to accept help or keep in touch. My longest bff ever lives in Florida with her hubby and 2 kids. When we talk, it’s like no time has passed. I miss her. My second longest bff just moved to California with her hubby and little girl and is pregnant again. I miss the hell out of her too. Our shared bff still lives in Richmond but we can’t seem to keep in touch and she drinks like I used to but I can’t do it anymore. The other members of my core group are married w/ and w/out kids. One member of that group made a pass at my bf so it’s hard to accept invites to parties because in almost a year she still hasn’t apologized. I need to get over that shit and just go and have fun and ignore her.

Everyone is all grown up and super busy or super tired. The ones who still party like I used to, I can’t seem to relate to anymore. I never wanted to be a bar fly in my 30s. I have always felt like the odd one out anyhow. Being the primary caregiver to my mom a good portion of my life has instilled in me the type of weight of responsibility that is usually kept for parents. I always managed to get my ass home safely and be the “mother” of the group making sure everyone else was okay too. So here I am, not necessarily feeling lonely but very much different and kinda alone.

I’ve met a lot of awesome people in my couple years of blogging. I organized two local meet-ups last year and plan to do another soon. This year I plan to cultivate those friendships more and tend to the dear ones I already have.

This post was originally posted at, and all written content in this post is the copyright of My Milk Glass Heart

With Christmas shopping done, my disposable cash is back. The only thing I bought for myself in over a month were those necklaces. With the temperature dropping, I’ve noticed an acute lack of cute long-sleeve tops. So, I hit up ye ole F21 for a little shopping fix.

Do you ever check out the guys’ section? They’re having a 30% of sale on men’s clothing so, I grabbed this sweater in a size small for about $14. I’m curious how the sizing is going to work.

This is soooo cheesy and me to a tee:

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• Lots of pretty things this time around!
• Painting by Raul Perdomo (via)

• Some photos of Marilyn Monroe I had never seen before. A new book of over 100 unseen photos called Marilyn, August 1953: The Lost LOOK Photos (Calla Editions) is now available. (press release)
• A great post about the stigma of clothing sizes. The interview at the end w/ (I can’t believe she’s plus-size) model Crystal Renn is worth a watch as well.
• Just look at these gorgeous peacock wedding cakes. If I’m ever in need of a wedding cake, these will be my inspiration.
• Do you “Explore” on your Google Reader? Oh man, I’ve been finding some really great blogs and articles! There are different ways to dig around and get rid of things you’re not interested in so check it out!
• Doesn’t this potato salad look wonderful? (pic by This Is Naive – I love her photographs)

• Do you love paper goods? I just discovered Felt & Wire Shop. Such pretty things from all over, in one place! Love this wrapping paper. (I covered my funky linen closet shelves with fun robot wrapping paper secured with tape and then protected with clear contact paper. It’s held up great and is easy to remove.)

• Speaking of, I really love to wrap presents. Here’s the gift for the bf’s sister’s wedding next weekend. I went a little nuts at Ben Franklin. We went crazy getting her killer serving pieces at every Marshalls and TJMaxx in town. She wants to entertain.

• She-Ra turned 25! Next to Jem, they were my favorite dolls and I can’t believe I sold them all on eBay.

• My rat’s lump on his chin is gone! There’s a wee scab left so I’m wondering if it was a cyst that burst. (gross, sorry) I’m relieved. Barnaby’s my favorite. He lets me scratch and rub him up and he cuddles. Toki hates me.

go Barnaby go!

• Thankfully, there aren’t any major negatives burning my ass right now. I miss karaoke. I was always a ham at ballet recitals and school plays. I ad-libbed a lot.  A few beers, a few shots and… well, I really miss karaoke. My signature songs were Beastie Boys’ Get it Together, Billy Idol’s Rebel Yell,, and if you ask me to sing with you, I’ll sing anything you want, with gusto!
• I do want to talk about how sick and tired I am of those commercials with the bitchy wives and wussy husbands. There are the ones for yogurt where a man can’t even look in his own fridge without his wife, hand on hip, calling “Babe?” in an imperious tone. He sheepishly looks down and shuts the fridge door. There’s also the washing machine commercial with the break dancers. The husband decides to bust a tiny move and make a bad joke. (I would’ve burst out laughing.) His wife cuts a look and he also puts his head down and says, “Sorry.” This is pathetic and makes me feel sorry for men who can’t just be themselves because of overbearing women holding their balls for them in their purse. I’m a raging feminist but that doesn’t give me the right to be a bitch. Sure I want respect and wish to be treated like a “lady”. I’m a feminist but I’m also Southern as hell. We all need to be careful what we wish for. There’s a quote by writer Jean Kerr:

The only thing worse than a man you can’t control is a man you can.

This post was originally posted at, and all written content in this post is the copyright of My Milk Glass Heart

• HEY! If you’re not reading this comic and crying in hysterical fits of laughter, I don’t know if we can be friends. Sneaky Hate Spiral is one of my favorites.

• In addition to my October shopping ban on clothing, I’m also going to cut out junk like magazines and body/beauty products (unless I straight up run out of something I use daily and I don’t have an adequate replacement on hand. I won’t be walking around with furry legs, that’s for sure.) Christmas is fast approaching and I also need to chip away at my debt a bit more aggressively.
• In case you were wondering where your tax dollars go, here’s a breakdown if your income was about $34K in 2009 (via)

• Naked Without Lipstick did a great post on what life was like before she met the internet. Who remembers paging their teenage boyfriends with 143? Ahahah!
• This past Sunday was my mom’s 64th b-day. I came over for a few hours, brought a cake, gave her a gold and citrine ring and a manicure to go with it, and ran out and picked up Mexican food. It was a fun little visit. Oh, and to update, she’s healing up quite nicely and stubbornly refusing the special air mattress hospital bed.

• My pet rat Barnaby has a pea-sized tumor under his chin. I have called around and the cheapest tumor removal is $125 + $100 in lab fees to find out what it is. I’m sorry but I paid $5 for him and unlike a dog or cat, I don’t have a deep emotional relationship with him. I’ve already spent over $1,000 on my cat’s kidney disease. Rats are prone to getting tumors so, if he starts showing symptoms and seems ill or it gets bigger, it’s going to be $56 to have him humanely put to sleep.

He was just about a month old here.

• In two weeks, I have to go to New Jersey for the weekend with the bf’s entire family in a rental van for his sister’s wedding. I don’t really need to go into any more details, now do I? Well I’m going to. I hate being held hostage by the transportation of someone else. My family has never been a big family family and I’m an only child so family isn’t really my thing. There will be much yelling by a little Korean woman. There will be drama, no doubt about it. I am in no mood. I never get to travel anywhere these days and when I do, it’s hardly for anything I want to do. Okay, I have bitched enough. Or have I? I better quit while I’m ahead.
• City Kitty is gone. Remember that scrawny neighborhood cat I was feeding? Well, she fattened up a bit and then, all of a sudden, she was gone. We kept vigil for her with a full food bowl on the front porch for 3 weeks. Nothing. I finally brought the bowl up this weekend. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, the bf and I will quietly say, “I miss City Kitty.” I hope she’s okay.

This post was originally posted at, and all written content in this post is the copyright of My Milk Glass Heart

Today, this blog is 2 years old and this is my 464th post!

In starting this online journal of sorts, I thought I would just throw up a bunch of pics of things I liked, rattle on a bit and that would be that. Well, it still kinda is just that but; I never imagined blogging was going to be so complicated and technical. I also realized that it’s not just about me. You end up becoming part of a community and you want your readers to enjoy what you have to say without compromising your own voice.

There’s so much behind-the-scenes geekery to figure out. SEO is still kicking my ass. There’s no way to teach yourself everything in one sit-down. I’ve been slowly learning, making mistakes, correcting them, and trying to make this the best representation of things that are important/interesting to me. It’s time-consuming but also a lot of fun.

The biggest thing this year was moving my blog over to a paid host. It was infuriating, frustrating and I learned a whole lot of stuff in the process. Having to figure out concepts that I had never heard of before just about brought me to tears a few times. It was very humbling and with that loss of hubris comes a sincere attempt at trying to open myself up more and not judge people on stupid little things, as much as I’m wont to do. It’s kinda ego-maniacal to assume I’m any type of authority on something so personal as taste. I just know what makes me happy.

The best thing about the past two years is all the wonderful people I have met! I had no idea there were so many awesome people out there. It’s kind of comforting to know that no matter what happens to be on your mind at the time, there’s somewhere you can talk about it, be it your own blog or that of someone else. Even if you don’t particularly love someone’s style or you can’t relate to their life at all,  you can always find the common denominator like taste, humor, wit… or you can simply appreciate someone baring their soul to the world.

I’ve had the opportunity to meet a lot of great local ladies too. In fact, I had my second meet-up yesterday and it was a lot of fun seeing people you follow online, in the flesh. Everyone got along great and we all enjoyed each others’ company, sharing our lives for a few hours over drinks and snacks. I can’t wait to do it again!

So, thank you for being awesome and sharing your spot on the interwebs with me too! I hope you’ve enjoyed reading my silliness as much as I have enjoyed reading yours!  Thank you!!!!

xoxoxo

Lara

This post was originally posted at, and all written content in this post is the copyright of My Milk Glass Heart