What’s up guys? Three day weekend coming up for me and I. Am. Stoked.
I’ve been on fire at work the past couple months. Something clicked around Thanksgiving or so and while I was doing well, now I am on top of my game. I struggled with this job a lot, being thrown into the fire with no experience in law and little training, having to ask as I went along and dragging everyone’s productivity down with me for them to slow down and teach. I was also devastated over the loss of my mom and having drastically changed my lifestyle/general pace so soon after it. My boss, who scared the hell out of me in the beginning, who I craftily avoided and got teary eyed around every time he spoke to me for months, has grown on me and we joke around together more and more. He no longer yells at me and now tells me I’m “awesome” quite regularly. I love all the ladies I work with. It’s a great team environment and everyone is truly understanding and crazy kind. We’re all in it together, working towards the common goal, pulling our own weight. It’s nice.
I had thought about quitting so many times. I made myself ill on Sunday nights dreading going back on Monday morning. I cried at home (but never at work) and read tons of personal accounts of being a litigation assistant/secretary (call it whatever you want). The good stories never gave me hope but the bad stories fueled my desperation. I seriously considered my options and thought about being an EMT. I have an old friend who’s made it her life and she was the one to talk to. I thought it would be more fulfilling spiritually and I was about to schedule a ride along until I read more about it… the low pay, late hours, dangerous conditions, the certification process drawn out over years to make what I make now…
Basically seeing how much worse it could be helped me appreciate what I already had. Getting better at my job was a natural process that happened with practice but the attitude adjustment was a real choice. Now, I’m plowing through my to-do list every day, mastering skills, and the veteran in the cube next to me is asking me for advice!
I finally said “no” for the first time today. I simply didn’t have the time to make a long drawn out call when the paralegal asking did. There was a twinge of guilt and I would never tell an attorney no but I had to draw a line in the sand today and I’m proud of myself for not sending myself over the edge, delaying the time sensitive work in front of me.
I come home tired but feeling fulfilled. It’s not the type of fulfillment I thought I might get from coming to the aide of people as an EMT (there are a lot of fools out there you have to deal with too). It’s a feeling of pride that I kicked SO much ass that day. I exceeded my deadlines, I anticipated needs and I had the answers when I was asked the important questions. The relationships I’m fostering are also fulfilling… being the cheerful person, doing little acts of kindness, joking and walking into an office doing a Salley O’Malley kick…
David also starts a new job in two weeks… a real job with benefits! A friend who got laid off just landed a sweet job and I know another friend who just got laid off will find something great soon too!
It’s all gonna be alright.