So I saw this Natalee Dee comic and it really struck a nerve.
I’m not going to go on a tangent because feminism is such a broad subject but I will say that I like to cook. I like cupcakes. I like crafts and makeup and clothes. I like things that are just for “us girls”. I can’t help this.
I also know how to work on a lot of things on a car, computer and house. I like yard work, getting dirty and will climb trees and rip out vines jumping to the dirt like Tarzan. I love math and science. I drop the hammer around my home when I start feeling like things are getting unfair as far as the bf not doing his share of household crap. And he helps!
My mother worked, her mother worked… but they still passed down the stereotypical “lady things”. I kind of like the differences as long as no one is feeling short-changed.
Sociological Images just posted this spread from a recent Toronto paper:
This kind of crap is still going on. Doesn’t this look like it’s from the 60s?
Don’t even get me started on “man caves”. He’ll get a cave when I get a craft room.
It’s a fine line ladies. Never cross to the dark side.
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
This cartoon kind of bugs me. I’m the same way. I cook and bake cupcakes but I also do a lot of dirty stuff like yard work. Neither my husband nor I like to clean so we pay someone else to do it (it’s an expensive luxury but it may have saved our marriage). I think we can be feminists and still maintain our femininity.
I can’t even bring myself to comment on the Metro article. I can only roll my eyes and shake my head with disapproval.
Danielle recently posted..My Life With Vinyl, Part 1
“I think we can be feminists and still maintain our femininity.” Amen!
So, we lose all our femininity and then what? My bf and your husband would still find us alluring, right?
That Metro spread – bad juxtaposition? I still don’t like the “hip girls cook and clean” line.
So freakin jealous of your maid service.
Forget the craft room, I want a man cave! Or a woman cave! Yeah, stereotypes stink. I like my big tv and my NFL Sunday Ticket!
You and your football. I certainly wouldn’t mind a super sleek lounging area/dressing room!
What do you guys mean when you talk about being “feminine”? I always wonder this when people talk about wearing a dress or a skirt or something, and how “feminine” it makes them feel.
To me, “feminine” means passive, submissive, irrational, emotional, and “pretty” (actually, “pretty” means all of that to me, too). And this is a meaning I’ve come to based on my determination that gender roles have been dictated to us by patriarchal society largely for the benefit of the dominant party, i.e. straight white men.
Obviously, my associations with the word are on the extreme (negative) side of things. But yeah, I often wonder what it means to everybody else to be “feminine.”
That’s a great question!
I can only speak for myself but when I think of being “feminine” or “masculine” – on a most basic level, I think of the differences that estrogen and testosterone give women and men. Those hormones have nothing to do with pressures of society. They just are. They help promote the species.
Now, the way we ACT according to how we’ve been taught is completely different. I find it obnoxious that little girls are given baby toys to nurture while boys are given tools to create things. Men can nurture just as well as women can build and create. That’s why I found that news paper article so offensive because I haven’t just seen that there. In a ton of home design shows men will talk about their “man caves” and the wife will say something like “what about a room for me?” and the husband replies “well, you have the kitchen”. I want to throw my fist through the TV! That’s just some old-fashioned stereotypical B.S. and hopefully we can evolve past that sooner than later.
PS – Thinking about what I said to Danielle earlier, about my bf not being attracted to me if I weren’t feminine – I don’t mean that as being “passive, submissive, pretty…”. I mean that he would never have been attracted to me in the first place if I were a dirt covered construction working chick who came home, propped my boots up every night and drank a beer, was gruff and belched. It’s not necessarily what I DO but more of what I DON’T DO. He’s not above doing house work, cooking, being tender, emotional and kind. That doesn’t turn me off. I’m not above redoing our kitchen floor, working on my car and playing video games. That doesn’t turn him off. But there are definite differences that make men men and women women and make us attracted to one another.
I really appreciate the thoughtful responses, Lara. The way we act according to the way we’ve been taught is what bothers me, too. I just feel like so many people think that stuff IS gender, and it makes me feel like we’ve still got so much farther to go when it comes to feminism (or just evolving as a species, in general).
Oh I’m glad you came back Nikki! This is such a TOUGH subject. Thanks for having a dialogue!
We really do have a long way to go. I am constantly questioning things I do. Lately, I’ve been thinking about high heels. My god they’re crazy uncomfortable and why do women keep doing it? I love cat eyeliner though and it’s just as much of a decorative thing as heels are. It’s hard not to be a hypocrite.
I think about transgendered people and how they are dying to express themselves on the outside, the way they feel on the inside. Then the way they do end up expressing their real identity is totally stereotypical (uber macho or girly) and that’s all learned behavior of how to dress and do your hair, etc. And what about the beauty standards of other cultures and how it’s evolved and how much influence a superficial American ideal is infiltrating other cultures. There are so many grey areas and it drives me insane sometimes.
Did you hear about the parents of the baby who refuse to tell family or anyone the sex of the child and they’re raising it in a gender neutral environment? Pretty neat.
I love the blog Sociological Images. Check it out!