Buying lingerie is torture for me. I’m not talking about basic bras and panties. That’s no big deal. I know which basics fit at Victoria’s Secret and don’t even need to try anything on. Beautiful statement lingerie is hell. First off, I’m small but busty. I’m not going to get so personal as to reveal my bra size but lets just say I’m lucky I can even get a few bras at VS. It’s really pretty ridiculous. I’m a small down below and a large up top. This does not average out to a medium.
After Oprah did that big deal show where it was revealed that the majority of women wear the wrong sized bra, I took myself to get properly measured. There are a few different ways of measuring for a proper fit and well, I guess I had been shuffling the wrong set of numbers. I had been squeezing myself into 36Cs for years, underwire digging into my sides, and every time I leaned over, something popped out. Well, when the woman whipped her tape measure only under my armpits and told me the cold hard truth, I burst out laughing so loudly – from both disbelief and utter embarrassment. What? Are you kidding me? She handed me some to try on, betting her life she was right. I couldn’t believe it! I was forever doomed and could no longer live in denial in my ill-fitting but beautiful undies.
When you know the truth and finally feel true comfort for the first time since you hit puberty, you never look back at those too small torture devices. I spent a fortune on a whole new wardrobe of comfy well-fitted bras but was saddened to give away my huge collection of (gorgeous) but painful harnesses.
Well, when your size is on the edge of obnoxious, you walk a fine line when it comes to affordable but attractive bras. Things begin to get foggy in the bra design world and you have to dig through wide straps, 4-hook granny bras, and strange paneled contraptions that look like quilts on your tatas. Department store bras are out of the question and you’re stuck with VS and and over-priced specialty boutiques.
God help you if you ever want to wear a one-piece negligee. The top fits and the bottom is huge, or the bottom fits and you’re popping out the top in a very unattractive way. While these articles of clothing aren’t suposed to stay on for very long, you would like to at least make a roaring first impression. Rarely will I ever find a one-piece with the proper cup size that doesn’t have an enormous ass attached. Matching novelty sets are always a problem too as they rarely let you mix and match sizes. (Don’t get me started on swimsuits and adjustable ties, or even dresses for that matter.) Anything pretty, seasonal, cottony, lacey or fun is rarely ever in my size and when I finally do find the rare thing that works, I’m on it with a quickness… a fierceness!
How I would love to wear something reminiscent of La Perla or Kiki de Montparnasse… or even Puimond or Atsuko Kudo… oh… so… very… shiny! growl!
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Even with a full C, there is a lot wardrobe-wise I have to turn down because overall it sits or fits strange. And as far as bra shopping goes, I just stick to black these days. I hate bra, bikini, and jeans shopping for my LIFE. Most stressful events ever.
It really seems like clothes are made for pre-teen bodies. Any of the cute dresses or tops that have any special area for boobs – forget about it! (or I get it anyhow and fight with my body all night.) Yeah, I’ve been on a black kick too! Imagine that! Sometimes I just want something outrageous though…
I had a friend back in the day who was built like you, but I think with a longer torso. It was very difficult for her to by lingerie as well; everything below the bust looked like a dress for Cinderella’s ball. There was a book or site she found that had ideas for sewing or pulling the lingerie blouse a bit more fitting, from behind. I’m not sure how to describe it. Almost like the way straps on the back of a lady’s coat are, but there are sewing or kinky strap tricks. It doesn’t work with much, but helps with the tanktop-ish blouse. Oh, and ladies, a silky simple robe that drapes over, covers, but still hints, is always…always a winner. Burlesque-y! Or just socks and a bandanna.
Oh Bobby… I don’t even know if I can even respond to your advice to the ladies… socks and bandanas sound right up my alley!