grateful squirrels

Not Jewish but this video from SNL cracks me the hell up. I will be getting Chinese take-out tonight though! ;)

On Christmas Eve the Gentiles gather
‘Round the Christmas tree
They stay at home and party with
Their Goyishe family
They disappear one day each year
And pass the egg nog ’round
But it’s all right, ’cause that’s the night
The Jews control the town.

Well it happens every year on Christmas Eve
All the happy Christian people take their leave
Yeah, the streets are deserted, and that’s big news
It’s Christmastime for the Jews.

Yeah, the holiday party starts ’bout 6 PM
Ain’t nobody recreating Bethlehem
Yeah, the Three Wise Men, that’s a big ol’ snooze
Christmastime for the Jews.

They can finally see King Kong without waiting in line
They can eat in Chinatown and drink their sweet ass wine
They can crank Barbara Streisand on the streets they cruise
Christmastime for the Jews.

They can gang up on the Quakers,
Play for the Lakers,
They can do what they wanna,
Even blow off Madonna
Get a chance to drive a tractor,
Win on Fear Factor,
See Fiddler on the Roof with actual Jewish actors …

Now they really get the party going after dark
Circumcising grateful squirrels in the city park
Picking fights in the bar knowing they can’t lose
Christmastime for the Jews.

Now it’s nearly 10:30, yes it’s time for bed
Daily Show reruns dancing in their head.
Maybe next year they’ll learn how to hold their booze.

Christmastime for the Jews
Christmastime for the Jews (Don’t ya see now …)
Christmastime for the Jews.

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Tagged as: christmas